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THE BALLS THAT’S LIKE NOT A BALL GETS THROWN AND PEOPLE SCREAM AND POUR WATER ON MAN. 

Sports, amirite?

Auditions Next Wednesday!

Blogologues will be hosting auditions next Wednesday, August 6, from 12pm - 5pm! We’re looking for hilarious, versatile humans (preferably non-white) to join the Blogologues ensemble! To schedule an audition, email info@livelyproductions with your head shot, resume, and a funny cover letter.

Visit backstage for more audition information, if you have an account and feel like it. Woo!

Converting the Masses: Castro Convertibles Joins the Blogologues Pack

We are so excited to have Castro Convertibles joining us as a sponsor for Blogologues: Welcome to the Jungle and this news could not be better for every single human and animal among us.

The Castro Convertible Ottoman easily turns from an ottoman into a bed. So: you just moved into the smallest apartment in New York and can buy ONE, but only one, piece of furniture… with a Castro Convertible Ottoman, you could have a comfortable place to sit, sleep, and, if you get creative, it could even serve as a table, couch or husband. Now you can say with a confidence your fifth grade T-ball coach never thought you had: “One piece of furniture will serve me just fine, New York!”

Obviously, we are very excited to be partnering with a company as classic and innovative as Castro Convertibles, but with this sponsorship comes some great perks for you, dear audience, as well!

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AUDIENCE PERKS:

1. 2 VIP ticket holders per show will be sitting on a convertible ottoman of gold - okay, leopard print - for the duration of the show while the rest of the audience sits in *gags* …chairs.

2. Castro Convertibles will be giving away a free convertible ottoman to one lucky audience member per weekend. All you have to do to be in the running for this amazing prize is “like” Castro Convertibles on Facebook and leave your contact information with their representative on the night of the show.

3.  Even if you’re a loser who never wins raffles ever, as a Blogologues audience member you will get an ~exclusive discount~ on all Castro Convertible items on their website with the discount code URanANIMAL.

brb gotta go take a nap on my ottoman/bed/throne/heavenly cloud (did I die??? (I don’t even care if I’m dead so long as there are convertible ottomans in Heaven! (THIS JUST IN: CONVERTIBLE OTTOMANS IN HEAVEN!!!!!!!!!)))

This spring, Blogologues performed at Internet Week and boy was it a blast! Check out some footage from the show and feel free to LOL or reblog or share with your friends or adopt an older dog because you heard they have the most love to give. We certainly did!

Is your bff getting married and are you overwhelmed with trying to organize the best Bachelorette Party in NYC for her? Girl, sit back and relax. Blogologues and Babeland have got you covered. Blogologues and Babeland have partnered up to give you, your friends, and that bff bride the night of your lives. If you join us for the night, your bachelorette party is bound to be off-the-chain and depending on which package you choose, your night could include any/all of the following: - Private Babeland Toy Party in the theater before the show- Onstage cameo for the bride-to-be- Prime, designated seating for your party- 2 free drinks for everyone in your party- Backstage tour and meet the cast- Swag bag of sexy supplies (toys, lube, etc.) for all of you!   Visit our website for more info or contact us for details!

Is your bff getting married and are you overwhelmed with trying to organize the best Bachelorette Party in NYC for her? Girl, sit back and relax. Blogologues and Babeland have got you covered.

Blogologues and Babeland have partnered up to give you, your friends, and that bff bride the night of your lives. If you join us for the night, your bachelorette party is bound to be off-the-chain and depending on which package you choose, your night could include any/all of the following:

- Private Babeland Toy Party in the theater before the show
- Onstage cameo for the bride-to-be
- Prime, designated seating for your party
- 2 free drinks for everyone in your party
- Backstage tour and meet the cast
- Swag bag of sexy supplies (toys, lube, etc.) for all of you!  

Visit our website for more info or contact us for details!

We’re Accepting Submissions for the Summer Show!

You voted! You decided! The theme for Blogologues’ summer show is “animals” and we need YOUR help finding crazy things from the internet about our furry companions! We’re looking for Yelp reviews, blog posts, Craigslist posts, tweets, online forums, Yahoo Answers, and much more. If you found it on the internet and it made you laugh, we want to see it!

As you know, with Blogologues ANYTHING goes. Submissions can be about:

  • Luxury Pet Spas
  • "Furries"
  • People who believe they are animals
  • Beastiality
  • Care Bear Fanction
  • Dogs that act like humans
  • Yetis
  • Animal Fetishes
  • Party Animals
  • and so much more!

If you find something hilarious and you’d like to submit it, please tweet it at us or email us TODAY!!!!

Read the Internet Out Loud: 2nd-Ever Blogologues Open Mic Night!

Did someone say OPEN MIC?!!!

Why yes…we fu#%&!g did.

FRIDAY, MAY 16: IT’S THE 2nd-EVER BLOGOLOGUES OPEN MIC NIGHT! 

Remember way back when, when people read the Internet out loud at Blogologues’ first EVER open-mic and EVERYONE HAD THE TIME OF THEIR LIVES?!

Yah, it’s happening again!  Let’s blast off to FUNTOWN!

zach-galifanakis-so-long-shitlords

Ever lol-ed yourself to sleep due to a freaky Tinder message? Seen a Craigslist post that made you want to break away from society and become a hermit in the woods? Internet trolls on Facebook tickle your funny bone with their rage?

Bring that shit and read it out loud to the world!

Let us break it down for you.

WHO CAN PARTICIPATE?

Anyone that can speak and read.

HOW?

Just bring something (on your phone or paper, doesn’t matter) that you found on the Internet that you think it’s open-mic worthy. Weird. Funny. Scary.  Whatevs!

THE RULES:

  • Show up.  There will be a sign-up list by the stage
  • Your name will be called.  Get onstage.  YOU MUST TAKE A SHOT BEFORE YOU BEGIN(Shots on us!)
  • State the source.  Is there a URL? Is it from your inbox?
  • Read
  • You get TWO MINUTES TOTAL.  Don’t get huffy about it… you’ll thank us later.

WHAT IF I JUST WANT TO WATCH?

You can do that, but the ticket is the same price and you don’t get a free shot, so…

DO I HAVE TO STAY THE WHOLE TIME?

Well no…but everyone will assume you hate fun.

WHAT ELSE SHOULD I KNOW?

The last time we did this there was a lot of complaints about noise/ being crammed.  Well we’re at a different venue this time that is REAL SEXAY!  It’s The Playwright Irish Pub.  Let’s get all the thumbs up!

thumbs-up

GET YOUR TICKET NOW!  SPACE IS LIMITED AND TICKETS ARE ONLY $7!!!

HEY THERE PIMP

We can sniff your untapped (or maybe, tapped) comedic potential from several subway stops away and we are beckoning you to brace us with your funny.

“Uh, what?”, you ask.

Sit back playa and let me tell you.

What:

At READ THE INTERNET OUT LOUD: Open Mic Night, you can read that break-up text you’re dying to share with New York City or that OKCupid message that’s an goddamn POEM or that Craigslist post you “stumbled on”. You can do characters while you read it or you just be a pimp and straight up read it.

 Rules:

  1. Show up and sign up.
  2. Once your name is called on stage, take a shot. (THAT’S RIGHT, FREE SHOTS.)
  3. State the source.
  4. Do your thang for 2 minutes (after which you will get buzzed out. Be cool, you had your spotlight.)

You don’t have to stay the whole time and, hell, you don’t even have to participate. But you pay whether or not you participate, and you get a free shot if you participate, so work that out.

Learn more and buy your tickets at READ THE INTERNET OUT LOUD: Open Mic Night.

See you in a few. 

Oh hay just hanging with cipha sounds cause we are casual and like basically famous and bffs with ciphs. It’s fine you guys. We aren’t hyperventilating or anything.